1.KILLER
She liked to call him ‘Joseph’, that way he seemed a bit
more human.
It was her turn tonight to wash and bathe him. Poor soul.
Some of the other nurses would run a mile rather than get anywhere near him.
But she felt she was different. She was used to the wild ones.
Sometimes people would come in and poke him, just to hear him squeal but she would give them all short change and hurry them out of the room. She didn’t want any of that hanky-panky, not when she was on the ward.
Sometimes people would come in and poke him, just to hear him squeal but she would give them all short change and hurry them out of the room. She didn’t want any of that hanky-panky, not when she was on the ward.
And as she washed his beaten body down she saw the mellowness in his eyes, somewhere behind that grotesque face was a heart beating. One that was kinder and more honest than the rest of the folks who walked this sick Earth. She felt like he was almost a baby at times and wanted to lift the huge head and cuddle it. Tell it she was sorry for what God and man had done to him.
She knew people were easily fooled. An ugly face, meant an ugly heart and a pretty one, meant intelligence and love. Yet nothing could be further from the truth – the one - the one she loved, that is, was the prettiest man she had every set eyes on. He had told her he loved her and when she looked into his eyes, she believed him.
Some pretty packages hide dark and dangerous souls.
When she had finished washing and drying him or it - she wasn’t quite sure – it had looked at her with the softest eyes she had ever seen. It made her feel almost human, too.
She knew she was pretty, the way the patients and the
doctors stared at her – the way the navvies shouted after her in the street.
But most of all, she had to have been pretty to have landed the most beautiful
man in Whitechapel. Yet, as she’d come to find out, that behind those beautiful
blue eyes of his was a heart as twisted and dark as the lanes leading to the
hospital.
She had heard whispers in the hospital that the police
thought the Ripper might be from there. There were suspicions and one of them was
a name she didn’t really want to repeat: his name.
She had found out late in their relationship that those pretty blue eyes had taken other women to bed - but she couldn’t see him as being the Ripper. He had cheated on her sure. He had hit her more than once, but that didn’t make you a murderer.
She knew what did make you commit murder, but she wasn’t telling. Just like the way she had worked out how someone could kill Joseph. It was as simple as taking the pillow away while it was sleeping. She would do it one day – kill, Joseph Merrick, the Elephant Man just because she could, just because she wanted to.
But until then, she would satisfy her thirst by killing off those trollops who had dared go to bed with her man. She devoured the ways and means. She loved making them suffer.
Jack the Ripper? Don’t make me laugh. For she knew she saw the face of the Ripper every time she looked in a mirror.
2. Broken
She had found out late in their relationship that those pretty blue eyes had taken other women to bed - but she couldn’t see him as being the Ripper. He had cheated on her sure. He had hit her more than once, but that didn’t make you a murderer.
She knew what did make you commit murder, but she wasn’t telling. Just like the way she had worked out how someone could kill Joseph. It was as simple as taking the pillow away while it was sleeping. She would do it one day – kill, Joseph Merrick, the Elephant Man just because she could, just because she wanted to.
But until then, she would satisfy her thirst by killing off those trollops who had dared go to bed with her man. She devoured the ways and means. She loved making them suffer.
Jack the Ripper? Don’t make me laugh. For she knew she saw the face of the Ripper every time she looked in a mirror.
2. Broken
Every morning Andy would count to ten before he got out of his warm forgiving bed and while he was waiting, he’d usually count his luck as well.
He’d always been the type of soul who walked the line on
the lucky side but he had to accept that things happened to you when you were
forty seven years old. The way the radio sounded quieter in one ear than it did
in the other, so he was going deaf as well as losing his ability to see words
clearly.
The news programme annoyed him to the same degree as it
ever did. Why he listened to it was anyone’s guess. All they did was try their
best to wipe the smile from his face: sick economy, rising unemployment, new
terrorism – why did they never try looking at the positive for a change? Tell a
good story about families who were working hard to save their kids. He knew why
- because it didn’t make news.
He was becoming sick of it all- fighting every day for each
and every step. Yet like millions of others across the land, he would get up
and start his day with the best will in the world that he could muster. He’d
grit his teeth like all the other dads and just get on with it.
Most of his life was a habit but it was a habit that he
wrapped around himself like a warm blanket. God help him if it ever disappeared,
his wife Sara and the kids were the only reason he’d got up.
He loved his wife the way that you do after twenty five
years of marriage, more than ever and less than before. She was his sun, his
moon, his stars and his major pain in the butt from time to time. And the kids?
Well the kids were part of him, sure they had their moments but jeez they had
made this world bearable and they were his breath.
So he got out of bed on the count of ten like he did
every day and he slid his feet across the floor like he did every day, and he
shaved and showered like he did every day. He had a cup of coffee like he did
every day – except for one thing, this wasn’t every day.
______
Sara very rarely stirred from her bed until he had got
up. Every day it was the same, she could almost hear his brain counting to ten.
But up he’d get without fail. He’d never had a day’s illness except maybe that
time when they had just moved to this house, to this area and that must have
been nearly twenty years or so.
He was a good man and she loved him, truly loved him –
she’d never looked at another in all that time. She knew how he was feeling and
what he was thinking even if he was clear over the other side of the county. It
was that close, it was that much love.
He was a decent father to their kids, never a harsh word
to say to any of them and yet they kept in check. They were good kids and they
would make good parents themselves, everyone said so.
So why did she feel so lost? Like she was drowning, when
all this was everything she dreamed of. It wasn’t the menopause, that had been
and gone and she’d coped with it all. There was an empty ache at the core and
it wouldn’t go away – no matter how hard she tried.
_______
What can you say about a child who’s been murdered? The
year it happened was the year that Tommy joined the Police force, it would be
more correct to say because it happened is why he joined. Twenty years later
and no one had been caught not even a hint. Sure there had been talk and names
mentioned, some having to leave to avoid the whispers, but there had never been
good solid evidence to point the finger at anyone.
The police had interviewed almost every male in the town
at the time but either the Police were incompetent or the killer was very
clever.
Tommy had watched the victim’s family disintegrate, that
was the only word to describe it: disintegration.
The girl’s mother and father no longer lived together
and even the same town wasn’t big enough, perhaps seeing each other brought
back the horror of that night.
The night she went missing, the night that the girl’s
mother knew she was dead. Before the Police had informed the family, before the
body was found, before even her husband had grown worried about Tracey being
late. A mother knows and she felt her daughter saying goodbye inside. That was
what she told the Police the next day. The mother had even been a suspect at
one point but like all other leads she had been not considered a serious
contender.
Back then Tommy was just a guy, plain and simple, and
the night that Tracey went missing he helped along with all the others. He
searched the undergrowth, the garages, down by the old canal and at the side of
the once used rail track.
Poor Tracey’s little battered body had been found a couple
of miles from where Tommy had been looking. He wasn’t sure if he’d wanted to be
the one to find her or not.
______
We separated about two years after the death. For better
or worse we’d promised each other at the Church but they hadn’t mentioned
anything about your own beautiful little girl being taken. That was the worst
of the worst no one could get you through that.
My darling daughter, my little one who I had read to,
cried with, laughed with, run with, wiped her nose and her bum had gone.
I and her mother supported each other for as long as
anyone humanly could - but the heart scars don’t show up, not at first anyway.
They seep through the skin and poison everything around them, they seep into
laughter and birthdays. They taint the very kindness of people. Until you
grudge everyone their happiness. The fact that the world continues to turn
makes your head literally spin.
I think the hatred started with the people on TV. They
still made jokes, they still acted in plays, still read the news, still sung
their songs. All I wanted was one of them to stop and speak through the screen:
“I am so sorry Mister and Mrs Andrews, on your loss”
But they didn’t they just kept on singing.
Then one night I looked over at my wife and thought -
why didn’t they take you and leave her and I knew I was finished.
______
Tracey was my friend and now I don’t sleep so good. My
mother says not to worry as it’s only bed sheets. You can always wash bed
sheets she says, but I feel embarrassed.
Tracey was my pal and now I don’t go out. Not because
I’m scared, just because I don’t want to.
Tracey was my best buddy and I cry most nights.
______
My name is Andy and every morning I count to ten before
I get up and then I count my luck.
bs2014
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