Monday, 4 July 2011

The Best of All Summers by Bobby Stevenson


Some things remain with you forever.

When I was ten years old, my father took me on a trip in an old battered car and caravan, and although I didn’t know it at the time, my father was dying. He was only forty years of age and he was dying of a brain tumour. 

What can I tell you about me back then? That I was the only son of parents who never got around to marrying? That I lived with my two sisters and a cat and that despite not having any money, we lived in a house packed to the roof with love.

Maybe that’s as good as it gets in anyone’s life. 

My father was the gentlest of hearts and the kindest of men, and I’m not just saying that because he’s gone. I’m saying it because it was true. It was his strength and his weakness. My mother watched so many people taking advantage of his goodness, that in the end she put herself in the way of anyone trying to use him. This made her seem hard but she was willing to put up with that, because that was what our family was always about – love.

My parents had decided that when school was closed for the summer, Mum and the girls would go to London for a few days to see a show, while me and Dad would go north taking his old car hooked up to Granddad’s caravan. I knew Dad was probably hoping this would be a chance for us to talk, as he was always working and I was always in my bedroom being misunderstood. Even at ten years of age I had no real idea how to enjoy myself.

On that summer, that glorious summer, school finished and my life began. Dad drove Mum and the girls to the railway station and I sat on the front steps waiting, bag ready and caravan packed.
I’ll always remember the ‘toot-toot-toot’ of my Dad on the car horn as he returned from the station, letting everyone in the street know that the boys were off on holiday. All those unused days were spread before us, waiting.

If I’d thought that it was going to be a particularly difficult time sitting in the car with my Dad, I was wrong. I had imagined him and me struggling to talk to each other and stumbling over words. I guess I’ve always made assumptions about things. I’ve worried and assumed – I suppose that’s what should be written on my headstone. There I go again.

As we drove towards the coast, I felt ashamed of myself. Here was a man who knew all about my writings and about the books I’d read. He would steal himself into my room after he came home late from work, too late to wish me goodnight but long enough to kiss me on the forehead and absorb from the room who and what I was. There was I knowing very little about him, except he was my father and he was rarely home.
I don’t recall when he stopped the car but I do remember it getting dark. I had been telling him all about the characters in some Dickens novel when I must have fallen asleep in his arms. When I awoke, it was morning and the sun was fighting the condensation on the window. Dad had placed me in the back seat and covered me with his jacket. 

The car was freezing and as I sat up, I shivered. I wiped away mist from the side window and saw, that despite the sun, the sky and the sea were a cold blue, broken up by the foamy edges of the waves.  We had parked at the edge of a cliff and Dad was sitting, staring - that was all he was doing - just staring. When I felt brave enough, I ventured outside to join him. I’ll always remember his face that day, the wind had slapped his cheeks into a Santa Claus red and his eyes were watering, stung by the sea. You could almost imagine that he had been crying, and I wonder now, from all those years away, if he had been. 

He told me to sit next to him and he put his arm around me, “You, and me, son are going on an adventure”.
Now don’t get me wrong, I liked the sound of ‘adventure’ and I loved my father and felt safe with him but there was always a part of me that wanted to return to the protection of my bedroom, pull up my arms into my sleeves and wait on the next hurtful thing. Yeah, you’re right, I was one weird kid.

As we came over the hill I could see it: Blackpool Tower. I had never seen anything so tall in all my life and was so excited that I forgot about my misgivings. The place was alive with people who were swept up with enjoying life and buzzing with laughter. There were donkey rides by the sea, the odd uncle with a handkerchief on his head to keep the sun away and people breaking their teeth on sticks of rocks, slurping ice cream and getting pieces of candy floss stuck to their noses. 

Dad and I went down on to the beach and ate our fish and chips from a newspaper. I think it was the best fish and chips I ever tasted.
“That’s better.” said Dad.
“What?”
“You’re smiling, you’ve got a nice smile, you know. You should use it more often.”
“Oh Dad.”
“I’m just saying.”
And do you know what? I felt that I didn’t want to be anywhere else. Just me and my Dad on the beach at Blackpool. 

“It’s my fault.” he said, sadly.
“What is, Dad?”
“The fact that you never smile, me and your Mum left you sitting too long in that room of yours.”
“I like my room.”
“No one likes their room.”

Dad parked the caravan down some quiet side street and told me to get washed and ready as he took a walk into town. When he returned, his breath smelt of beer and his clothes of cigarettes.
“You’ll never guess what I’ve got in my pocket? Two tickets to see Arthur Askey at the Grand”
What a night that was, everyone laughing and singing along with The Bee Song. I looked over at my Dad and he was laughing so hard the tears were rolling down his face. God, I miss him.

We had ice cream topped with raspberry sauce on the way back and I never once thought about my misgivings, not once. 

The next morning after a cup of tea and a bacon roll, we left Blackpool still singing the Bee Song, just me and my Dad. 

I can’t remember who saw the old lady first. My Dad had stopped the car because I needed to pee again and I was hiding in the bushes. The woman was sitting on a bench and at first we thought she was just sleeping, but her head had rolled forwards and she was moaning. Dad put his ear close to listen to her breathing.
“This isn’t good. We’ll need to get her to hospital.”

I sat with her in the back seat of the car while she rested her head on my lap. She reminded me of my Gran, I almost said “We won’t be long now Gran” when she moaned really loudly. The nurse brought Dad and me drinks as we sat in the corridor waiting on news. It almost felt like it was my Gran.

“Are you family?”
Dad explained to the doctor that we had found her sitting by the side of the road.
“There was nothing we could do, I’m afraid. I’m sorry your trip was in vain. She passed away five minutes ago.” 

Dad got a bit annoyed but he kept it to himself until we were outside the hospital. I thought maybe he was sad about the old lady dying, but really he was a bit angry.

“Don’t you ever believe that what we did was in vain, son. Never think that. That poor lady would have died alone on that bench if we hadn’t stopped. As it is, you kept her company and there were people with her when she went. So it wasn’t in vain. Nothing is in vain. Always, always remember that. Everything matters”
I guess that’s the kind of thing that happens to a person when they come out of their room.

As Dad drove south, I had the feeling that he just wanted to keep driving but as soon as it started to get dark, we stopped. Thinking back, I guess he couldn’t see too well in the dying light, something to do with his tumour.We set the caravan down in a field that overlooked Liverpool. What a city. Looking over the way the setting sun painted the building tops, a crimson yellow. We were going into town tomorrow and Dad said he had a surprise. 

I don’t think I have ever been to a happier city than Liverpool that day. People were going to and fro but always laughing and joking. Some were singing, others whistling. I loved every minute of it; every blooming minute of it. 

“I’ve got a pal and he owes me a favour”, said Dad. I felt ashamed that I hadn’t even known that my father had any friends or who they were.
“He works at a club down Matthew Street. He says if we arrive early enough, he’ll get us in and you can hide under my coat.”
I almost had misgivings again, almost wishing I was back in my safe, warm, bedroom - almost. 

We did what Dad said and he put me under his coat and the doorman, his pal, waved us past all the people waiting to get in.
“We’ll need to keep you under cover young ‘un” said Bert, Dad’s pal, as he led me to a small room by the stairs where he gave me lemonade.
“We’ll come and get you when the band is ready” said my Dad. “I’m going to have a talk with Bert. You’ll be okay here?”
I would be. 

I had just finished my drink when there was a knock at the door, followed by it opening.
“Hey Paul, look what I’ve found, the Cavern has little people living under the stairs. What are you doing here, son?”
I told him I was waiting on the band and that my Dad was coming to get me.
“And what band would that be son?”
I shrugged and the man seemed to find that funny. His pal, Paul came over to have a look at me.
“You’re right John, that is one of the little people. You’ve got to be lucky to see them” and then he rubbed my head.
John said it was his band that was playing and I said I was sorry. He said not as sorry as he was and asked did I want to come to their dressing room?  Although on second thoughts, John said, there was probably more room under the stairs. 

So I went with John and Paul and met the other two, George and Pete. They were all fooling around and didn’t seem to be in anyway nervous. John asked me what I wanted to do “That is, when you stop being one of the little people.”
I told him I wanted to be a writer and he said that was probably the best job in the world next to being in a band, especially his band, and he went into his jacket and gave me his pen. 

“If anyone asks, tell them John Lennon gave it to you.” 

That night I watched John, Paul, George and Pete play the most wonderful music I had ever heard or will ever hear. I didn’t know it then, but a few weeks later Ringo replaced Pete. I never got to meet him. 

My Dad died, just after Christmas, that year.

He left me with the best present that I have ever received in my life. He took me out of my room and locked the door so I couldn’t go back in. So what if I got hurt? That was the price you paid for being out there, that was the price we all paid, and the other thing he gave me was the belief that nothing is ever in vain, nothing. 

On the thirtieth anniversary of John Lennon’s death, I flew to New York and walked through Central Park and climbed the hill to Strawberry Fields. There was a little boy about ten and his Dad listening to the music of Lennon and I took out the pen and I handed it to them:

“John Lennon gave me this.”

Everything matters.



bobby stevenson 2011/2015
A very big thank you to Stephen Fry for tweeting this story to the world.






For my family, my song:

Liverpool photo by Ruth Hamer.

45 comments:

  1. Oh my, oh my. I think this is the best story of yours I've read so far. (I can only say think, because my eyes were blurry from the second half down - must be the wind making them water).
    Just absolutely gorgeous.

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  2. Many many thanks Sharon, and especially appreciated as you are the person that sent me on this journey.
    I was using the short stories as a warm up to something longer, so I might hold back on so many shorts for a while. Between you and Philip, you are both a complete inspiration and that is meant from the bottom of my heart.

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  3. I cried from beginning to end. Wonderful, wonderful, wonderful.

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  4. Dear rachycakes, thank you so, so much and do you know the funny thing? I cried when I was writing the blooming thing :-)

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  5. That was lovely Bobby. Really enjoyed it.

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  6. Cheers Philip and as much as an influence you are, I still like chips.

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  7. Amazing, heart warming and gut wrenching. Thank you.

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  8. Stephen Fry posted a twit about this and now I've got a lump in my throat and leaky eyes.

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  9. Wonderful, inspiring and heartbreaking. Thank for sharing with us :)

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  10. That was beautiful my friend. Your Dad sounds to be a wonderful person.

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  11. How lovely. Thanks for sharing this story, and your father, with all of us.

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  12. Seven Fry tweeted this, and I read it. Really glad he did.

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  13. This is beautiful. Sad but inspiring. Thank you for sharing your life moments with us.

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  14. That was very touching and I appreciate you sharing it

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  15. Thank you for sharing

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  16. How lucky you were. Never had a hug or a kiss from my parents even though they were good people.

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  17. I came here all the way from Sweden, following Stephen Fry's tweet. Thank you so much, both of you!

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  18. Thank you for sharing. Your dad was a lovely man. It makes you feel warm and sad, all at the same time. Memories to be cherished.

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  19. This is beautiful. Thank you so much for sharing this with us. Your dad sounds like a wonderful man. I understand the way you felt as a child - the preference for safety and comfort over excitement and adventure - because I was exactly the same, but it took me a lot longer to wake up from that than you did, I think.
    I am so glad I took the time to read this, it has touched me, and I think your story will stay with me for a long time.
    Thank you.
    Ellie xx

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  20. Such a beautiful read, thank you for sharing this story with us and with the world. It's so true, everything matters. I think sometimes people get so wrapped up in their own lives they can't see all the wonderful things happening around them, or even the person next to them just wishing they'll hug them. Everything matters. Always. Smiling to strangers as you're walking down the street or having the courage to step out of your bedroom and go on a trip with your dad which turns out to be one the best experiences of your life. Everything matters.

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  21. I found this via Stephen fry's twitter page. I was intrigued by the title as I tooling ago realised that 'everything maaters' - good and bad. All the events in life, no matter how small, have an impact on us.
    I found this an amazing reminder of this simple fact. Sometime we get so wrapped up with things that are less important, like pain and senility in my case, that we forget that all the little acts we do matter. Thank you for such evocative, thought provoking and caring writing.

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  22. The circumstances of my life led me to leave my grown up daughters in the UK whilst I sought to spend my last few years of life in happiness with the love of my life - my penpal for 39 years who I eventually met in 2009. With my daughters' backing, I moved to Australia in 2010 to be with her. This week, my elder daughter is coming to Australia to see me. I'll show her places as best I can but, inspired by your story, I'll mostly show her how everything matters.

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  23. Good story but from Blackpool if you go north you will have to circumnavigate the world to get to Liverpool

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  25. Wonderful, awesome, stupendous, heart warming, every good thing!!!!

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  26. This is wonderful. Funny, I think I once posted on my blog: "Everything matters. *Everything* matters." And people asked me what I meant and I couldn't quite say. If you'd written this yet, I could have pointed them here :-)

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  27. Read this after Steven Fry retweeted it. That was a fantastic story. I found it moving. I am 40 and my son is 11. Makes me want to take my kids out more. Thankyou

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  28. Sometimes in life one unexpectedly comes across a gem that warms the soul and lights up the night. This is one of those rare gems. Thank you.

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  29. Thanks for such a wonderful inspiring story. I read after Stephen Fry tweeted it and have just re read it to my husband who is a big Beatles fan and my ten year old daughter in a bid to get her out of her room too. Well done.

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  30. Reading your beautiful story on this sunny Sunday morning, helps to see all things that matter again. And even more important do something with that fact!
    I did visit Strawberry Fields in Central Park in May with my daughter who is 10 years old, needles to say a impressive moment in our lives.......
    But it's not only about these moments, all moments count and everything matters so today I will get her out of her room where she is probably playing with her NDS, to go out and play football in the park.

    Romfa , The Netherlands

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  31. Thank you. Your writing touched me and gave me hope that one day my daughter might come out of her room.
    I will keep trying to be there for her too.

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  32. Wonderful and touching and brings backs memories of my own!

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  33. So touching, so beautiful. Thank you.

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  34. charlotte wise11 July 2011 at 07:17

    a great story perfectly told, everything matters indeed x

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  35. Thank You! Amazing that we can touch each other even although we are distances apart. To have taken the time reading the story, I thank you. For saying how you felt , a million times Thank You.

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  36. I am so gad that I read this for more reasons than you could ever know. Thanks.

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  37. My goodness. I've just stumbled across your blog, and your writing has blown me away. Held my attention, ispired me and made me feel all warm inside. Thank you for sharing your family's love with us all.

    I'll most certainly be back.

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  38. Thank you for writing this and sharing such a beautiful story. Such a great reminder! Thank you.

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  39. Sincere apologies for the geographical error - the comment made me chuckle. I guess when you're ten , you're never sure what way is north.

    Once again, thank you for the very kind comments.

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  40. An extraordinary story-very inspirational.

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  41. Just dropped by your blog, I have it bookmarked. I loved your Readwave posts. This blog is a treasure trove of writings.
    Loved this story.
    Have you got any anthologies published?

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